New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
