And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Randomize
