How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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