I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
