OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Randomize
