i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
