I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize