I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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