your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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