I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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