I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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