"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
