Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
this will be a night to untag.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I need water and some morals
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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