Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
