Pants 0. Shit 1.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
