We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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