Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
