So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she smelled like a LAN party
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
