I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It was confusing and full of hummus
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
