Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize