I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize