bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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