In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
