when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
