are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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