my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
