I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You're earring is so big in my mouth
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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