im gay
i know
yea but for you.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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