girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
