So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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