You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
