literally had 100 drinks last night.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
