So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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