its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
