Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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