Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
