gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Sacagawea was the original milf.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
