I want to stick my p in your. b.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
