He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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