Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
my poor anus
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
