I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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