I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
