How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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