Im at strip club and am horny
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
