He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
