if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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