my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
