I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
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