Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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