Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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