please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
