Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
