Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
