I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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