Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
