she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
