I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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