so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize